I am officially a terrorist

Last week I visited Tammy in SyraJews. Getting there was a huge balagan because of the ice storm that swept through the Midwest, but my favorite part of the voyage was my encounter with the police.
I had a layover in Detroit, and I was talking to Tammy on the phone while I was at the gate waiting for the flight. I was telling her how I hadn't davened yet, and how davening in front of everyone in the Detroit airport was sketchy, but definitely not as sketchy as when I davened in the lobby of a hotel in Egypt when I was there with her last summer. I said sarcastically that there is probably less of a Taliban presence in this airport than there was in that hotel. And then, I went on to tell her how I learned some new words in Arabic. And then I did this crazy prayer ritual. Normal activity in the life of Eric, right?
But when we started boarding, the lady at the desk pulled me aside because she wanted to "have a word with me." Apparently, I had made some other passengers "feel uncomfortable" by using the word "Taliban" in public. And the procedure for dealing with possible terrorists is to immediately inform the captain, who ordered that I was not allowed to get on the plane until the airport police had come and interrogated me, and that if it took long enough they would fly away without me. So I watched everyone else board the plane as I was questioned by three police officers who proceeded to ask me stupid questions and check my criminal record. The whole time I had to stop myself from flipping out at the ridiculousness of the situation, but I knew that if I did that, there was no way I was getting to SyraJews before Shabbas. I eventually got on the plane and made it there, although I did get some really nice looks as I boarded the plane at the last minute. I stared back at my "fellow passengers" with my beady Jihad-eyes hoping to freak them out, but trying to avoid making any sudden movements so as not to get shot by a sky marshal.

My reaction to the whole situation can be summed up in one phrase, "What the fuck!?" It's not like the new Arabic words I had learned were "lets kill Americans" or "I can't wait to blow myself up on this flight." Of course, no one should be profiled for looking or acting like a terrorist, but... I don't even look Arab! I look as white as any other stupid hillbilly on that flight. They hear the word "Taliban" in an airport and they freak out? What kind of people have Americans evolved into since 9/11? And that they can't even tell the difference between a Muslim prayer and a Jewish prayer? These people must have been so ignorant, sucking in every anti-Arab anti-Muslim slogan they hear, soaking up all of Bush's anti-terrorist propaganda for the past seven years. I really think its sad. I can't imagine what its like for arabic-speakers or people with hijabs or even dark skin. I got a little taste of what they must experience all the time.
It's a good thing I cut off my beard a week ago though, it was huge. I definitely would not have gotten on the flight with that baby.